Staying Friends with Your ExPosted: September 20, 2012
When the relations are over, you have two options – to leave them in the past or try to stay friends with your ex. To lose a part of your life is always difficult and some of us share the illusion that it is possible to make good friendship out of unsuccessful romance.
However, almost in all cases the break up is the decision of one person, while the other one continues to hope that the partner will return. So, when you suggest staying friends your boyfriend can seize this opportunity to remain close to you till you understand your mistake, see how awesome he is and change your mind.
In fact, except the benefit of not losing a person who matters something to you, there are only disadvantages of friendship with an ex. He will prevent you from meeting new guys as you will not be able to explain to every by-passer that you two are just friends and you are ready for new relashionship. Besides, let’s be honest, it is unfair towards your former boyfriend. This friendship is not actually leaving but not also staying together, this uncertainty makes him hang in the air in doubts and postpone the moment of getting over you and starting new life.
May be you want him to sit on the reserve bench for a while and involve him in the game again if you understand that you can not find anyone better. Again, it is dishonest to put his life on pause. Do not treat him like a pair of shoes which have suddenly become too small for your feet. Your size will not be small again as your desires and requirements for the relations with a man will not return to a previous level. So, do not keep these shoes in the wardrobe, even if they are very cute and you have great time together.
There can be also a situation when it is you who are offered to stay friends. You should not agree on this unless you like tortures and are ready to listen to your new “friend’s” love affairs. Do not prolong the break up in time; it will not make it any easier to survive. You have the whole life to live and it is not necessary to take a heavy case of your feelings to the ex with you. When the time to leave comes, the only right thing you can do is to leave, actually.